Does he really love me : How can you know or tell?

Love is a universal emotion and a universal need.

We spend much of our lives doing things for the people we love, hoping that our love is recipricated. We take a great chance when we entrust our hearts to someone else.

What is more scary and more exhilarating than giving your heart away?

But whenever I see you, I burst apart
And scatter the sky with my blazing heart.

- Amy Lowell

See my page of famous love quotes


It is no wonder that at times we question if our love is true.

Sometimes these doubts come from self-insecurities. It's hard to accept love when you question whether you are worthy of it.

One way to think more objectively is to ask where your doubts are coming from. Are they coming from something your lover is actually doing (consistently not showing up when he says he will)?

Or are your doubts are coming from the inside - from insecure thoughts and baseless worries?

Real love or real doubts?

Insecurities can lead to distrust and unfounded accusations. Are you basing your doubts on tangible facts, or are you filling your mind with a lot of 'what if' questions:

You can drive yourself mad with this endless type of questioning. If your only doubts are coming from these sort of questions swirling in your mind, it's time to stop worry about events that haven't happened and start concentrating on believing in yourself.

The more you trust yourself, the more you can learn to trust others.

Experience, self esteem, and good judgement are all intertwined, and having good judgement is vital to resolving any doubts you may have in your relationship.

The more you know, the more you do, and the more you observe in life, the more belief you will have in yourself and in your judgement.

Is he sincere?

"I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved."
- George Eliot

If you believe that insecurity is not the source of your doubts, then it's time to take a closer look at the words and actions of your lover.

We all want to hear nice things about ourselves, and we all want to be told that we are loved. Some people, however, are very skilled at saying what we want to hear, whether they mean it or not.



If you have doubts about your relationship, take some time when you are alone and try asking yourself some important questions:

Does he love me or is he a liar?

Does he love me?

does he love me, article
- Barbara de Angelis

Listen to see if he is clear and direct in what he is telling you.

Dishonest people are very vague in their language: they cloak their true feelings in a web of ambiguity. Or their words simple don't match up with their actions.

If you can't get a straight answer about where he was last night, it's because he doesn't want you to know what he's been up to.

He may say that you are very special, one of a kind, ect... but you get the feeling you are no the only one....

Don't ignore your gut feeling and don't be afraid to ask questions, making it clear you are determined to know the truth about your relationship. You have to be willing to hear and see the truth, or you will always be susceptible to lies. 

Does he really love me? - The cycle of drama and lies

"True love is when your heart and your mind are saying the same thing." - Leanna L. Bartram

Another practice of deceptive people is that they concoct stories that may seem truthful in the beginning but continue to get more unbelievable as the story grows. He may say he wants to spend more time with you, yet he has a million excuses why he's too busy to see you....

And the excuses keep piling on top of each other:

His boss stopped him on his way out the door and he had to work over, then he got a flat tire and the spare was low. He went home to change his clothes and a friend came over needing something (fill in the excuse)...And on and on it goes.

If you believe one lie, well, maybe you will believe another and another. Liars count on your susceptibility and your gullibility.

Obviously, someone who occasionally tells you an incredible story isn't necessarily lying. It's the sum total of actions and words that must be considered.

If you feel like you are always getting the run around, most likely you are.

Sometimes it helps to look at your relationship like an outsider looking in. Would you be worried for a friend who was in a relationship like your own? Taking a step back, you may be surprised to find yourself caught in an unhealthy cycle of drama and lies.

Would someone who really loves you take advantage of you in this way? Love can make us vulnerable and blind us to the truth.

When you are in love, it's hard to find fault. Your loved one seems like perfection. However, imagining your relationship as though you were an outsider looking in gives you a new and fresh perspective.

It may help if you get a piece of paper and write down notes about your relationship. But instead of compiling the usual 'things I love about him/things I hate about him list', write down all the actions he has taken recently.

Write down actions only - leave what he says or how he makes you feel out of it for now. Words and emotions can be easily manipulated. Look to his actions to reveal the true story about your relationship.

What do his actions say? Does he really love you or is it all lies? Is he committed to you or is he stringing you along?

Does he love you? - Does he spend time with you?

how to know if he loves you
        one way to know love is real

The most important thing in our lives is what we do with our time. It is what defines us. What you did today and yesterday, and who you spent that time with, are the essence of your life.

If your love is spending his time with everyone but you, he is sending you a giant signal, and you have to be the one to address it. "He may not be that into you," or as invested in your relationship as you are. If he doesn't have time for you, how important are you to him?

If you have been together for awhile, it could be that your relationship has become complacent and he may be unaware that he is taking you for granted. Either way, this is an important issue and one you'll need to get to the bottom of. Going through life with someone who is mostly absent from your relationship is a miserable way to live.

Gaging the truthfulness of someone else's feelings is not always easy. You don't want to be overally suspicious, but you don't want to be the next victim of a player either.

That's why its important to address those lingering doubts. You have to tell your partner what you are looking for in your relationship and make sure you are on the same page.

Most important of all, though, listen to what your partner is saying to you in both his words and his actions. They will reveal alot (the good and the bad) if you are willing to hear.


Real Love Quote

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

     - Dr. Seuss




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